Author of 7 exciting novels, photographer, outdoorsman, electrical engineer and former radio personality. Jack of many trades; master of none. A man who knows exactly what he wants, but hardly ever gets it.

I’ve totaled five cars, two of which were head-on collisions.

I’ve been punched, kicked, whacked over the head and stabbed.

I’ve been hit with a barstool, a pool cue and a beer bottle.

I’ve been shoved over a cliff and fallen from three-story rooftop.

I’ve had several major surgeries.

I know pain. But let me assure you, if you don’t buy my book, it won’t hurt me one bit!

From Beaten By The Shtick:

Alexandra Daye:

What am I doing wrong? I love Johnny, and I know he loves me, but for him to get so angry with me, I must be doing something wrong.

Anybody else would pack up and leave him. But I can’t. I love my show and my antiques too much to do that. And, the truth be known, I still love Johnny. That’s the ridiculous part. I love him even though he treats me worse than dirt. I’ve got to find a way to put us together again.

Johnny Knight:

“Nothing wants to fall into place. That shtick I need is hiding from me. I can’t find it. My show is dying an ugly death. My life’s withering away. My world’s unraveling around me.”

Breann Bloemhard:

“Damn it, Alli, that beast needs to be put in his place. Go to the police and swear out a warrant for him. And get and EPO. Tell them what he did to you and make sure you show them the bruises you have. They’ll take pictures and that’ll strengthen your case against him.”

Allison’s Mother, Hazel Nichts:

“Don’t be so childishly selfish, Allison. A man’s home is his castle and you as his wife are only his guest. If you want to get along with Johnny, you must do as he wants you to do. You must make him feel like a king in his castle the way I do with your father.”